Dealing with Unmet Expectations in Marriage PII

Unmet Expectations2

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:6

What causes you to be unstable? What do you need to do to become more stable and to have an Anchor for the storms of life?

James is addressing Christians who are relying on themselves and not really wholeheartedly seeking after God. Is this what we do in our marriages and family way too much? Christ is here in our marriage, and He implores us to literally beg for wisdom because we are empty in of ourselves. If we do not seek wisdom, but remain in our own thinking, we will be un-tethered like a small boat without an anchor in a storm, tossed and tumbled in the waves of stress and life that comes from the buildup of disappointments. We will be literally unstable mentally, relationally, and spiritually without our Lord’s direction! Then our marriage breaks down to dysfunction and worse…

  • When we think or want just to be please, we are not caring for the other person.
  • To begin to realign our composure, look to God’s Word, which is telling us we are to accept His plan for our life and then ask for wisdom to deal with it. Then we can start the process to be better communicators and care for one another.
  • What we are not to do is to spend our heart and thoughts in disappointments, then we are not seeking what we could have, that is better.
  • When we are just listening to the noise and or what others who are less mature have to say we dig ourselves deeper in a mess. Rather, we are to seek God and His Word to give us the knowledge to grow and to get through.
  • God assures us that when we seek Him, He will respond. When we ask for wisdom, He will give it to us! The key is to ask by faith. And then act upon it.
  • Seek what is going wrong and look at it from His perspective.
  • What can I do, in the Fruit of the Spirit and real love, so a solution can be had?

This is the confidence in God’s power that without doubt, He is there and He will help. For, if we doubt, we will not have confidence, and we will be tossed, by our struggles, to the point that they drown us.

So, to start our realignment, “Ask God,” be willing to beg God passionately, realizing we are helpless and in great need. He is the source of wisdom and the One we are to go to for all aspects of life!

Know that Christ will grant our request as long as it is sincere and in His will.  If not, just as this passage in James one states, we will be “Tossed” and remain in our situation or make it worse. As being unstable, immature, and weak in faith.

Do not be the person or have the marriage that refuses to learn and grow, who keep doing the same things over that are not working expecting different results just to be miserable. We only become un-tossed by the Anchor of who Christ is in us, and pursuing Him. Do not be tossed, be in Christ then we will “Be given!” As, life is about pleasing God, not pleasing one’s self or our spouse! Although, we should be thoughtful and proactive in our romance and relationship. Life, is about abandoning our desires and be focused on Him! His plan is far better than our desires (1 Kings 3:5-9; Prov. 2:6; Luke 11:9; Eph. 4:14-16; James 4:2; 1 John 3:21-24; 5:14-15)!!

What is not right in your life that needs wisdom and attention from God?

Bring Christ into your marriage.



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