Month: May 2015

What is Faithfulness in Marriage? PI

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Faithfulness in MarriageFaithfulness is a Fruit of the Spirit! 

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Psalm 119: 89-90; Matthew 17:19; 25:21; Rom. 1:17; 5:1-2; 1 Cor. 12:9; Hebrews 11:1; 1 Thess. 5:24

Faithfulness is the “gluing” fruit that will preserve our faith and marriage. It is a prime character of the Holy Spirit flowing into and then out of us. It identifies God’s love and will so we can be dependable and trusting to God, in our marriage and one another in others. It is also the one fruit that we give back to God, whereas the others are flowing from the Holy Spirit working in us!

Faithfulness is authenticity, the power and motivation for Christian marriage and living.

Why and how? Because God is trustworthy with us we can be faith-worthy in Him and in our home! If not then, doubt, cynicism and distrust will flow. We will lose our trust and hope that God is in control! When we do this we will lose or miss out on God coming through with His promises and a working marriage that is triumphant.

Faithfulness is very difficult to have or hold on too especially applying it to our marriage in today’s society and extremely rare in our other relationships. We tend to lose our patience with God, thinking He is just a blessing machine. In addition, when we do not get what we envision for our marriage we leave because of our uncertainty and pessimism.

Yet, Faithfulness is the fruit that we give to God so He can sanctify, change us inside and out and be a change agent of example for our family!

It is the ability to take what Christ has done in us and be a blessing into our family and then to others with loyalty and trust. Faithfulness goes against modern psychology and societies thinking, as it requires us to move beyond ourselves, whereas psychology tells us to be selfish putting the “me” first, rearranging the world to our needs, which creates self-destruction and a broken marriage.

Faithfulness is more than just being faithful in our sexuality! We have to keep the goal of faithfulness in our minds always, as it will allow God to work deeper and us to respond to His call and our spouse!

God has bigger things at stake that He wants you for, much more than the petty complaints we give or things we ask of Him!

When we learn and apply the fruit and attitude of Faithfulness, then Christ is glorified; moreover, quality relationships are built and are kept! This happens best when we realize that Christ paid our debt in full! Therefore we can as Colossians 1:9-14 tells us, live a life worthy or as other translations state, walk worthy of the Lord. This means live in the manner of what we know and believe— and do it consistently.

We do this when we are faithful in pursuing God and His righteousness, and believing His precepts, so He is more and we are less in our will. This is our “walk with God,” meaning living out the daily Christian life thinking as He has called, behaving as we believe, and thus doing in response to His Work in and for us. It is also being empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is never the walk in our own will and strength; such a thing is pride and disobedience to our loving Lord.

So if you want a great tool to change and be an example of change, kept blameless  or just improve our marriage, the Fruit of the Spirit, Faithfulness will be it!

As we behave as the One we represent, as the name Christian means to be like Christ in His character. Refers to being an “appropriate” or acceptable offering so we “deserve” our reward—but we do not earn it (Lev. 26:3; Ezek. 36:27; Mark 10:29-31; John 3:30; Gal. 2:20-21; 5:16; Eph. 4:1; 5:1; Phil. 3:10-14).

Then we can be Fully Pleasing Him, to be a friend of God with gratitude; seeking Him first is to glorify Him. (Deut. 10:17-19; 2 Chron. 20:7; Psalm 69:30-31; Matt. 5:16; 6:33; mark 12:29-30; 1 Thess. 2:4).

Remember; God does not want our complaints, thus He will not give us an answer for them, rather He wants our obedience, so He can use us more and better!

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Forgiveness in Marriage PII

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Forgiveness in Marriage c

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14

We may suffer betrayal from friends, family, coworkers, and even church members. However, the biggest betrayal is always from those we love and trust the most. Yet, we are called to forgive, anyway!

Why? Because, we need it, and because we are imperfect, fallen, and full of sin. Even the Christian who is saved by Grace is still in the process of growth and sanctification.  We are yet imperfect, no matter what the level of maturity. If you are thinking, I refuse to forgive, consider this reason to forgive.

We forgive because God has forgiven us.  

If we do not, the resentment will build and build-like battery acid that slowly eats away a car-until, unless we fix it, it will destroy us.  Even secular psychologists tell us that resentment is the most powerful, self-destructive emotion in our arsenal. Will you allow forgiveness to build and destroy the love that was kindled, take your relationship away and cause hurt to your family? If so, all that will be left is the building blocks of bitterness to destroy your family, other relationships and your life!

            God desires that we seek forgiveness, because God is a God of relationships, and is committed to relationships.

God knows our human weaknesses and our self-destructive nature, and that our relationships tend to be fragile.  Broken marriages come out of our sinful nature and our fallen world, which seeks its own gain. God’s desire is to show the world our potential. Because a happy, healthy Christian marriage is becoming more rare and thus more needed. Because of what Christ has done for us, we should not take pleasure in destructive situations, those that divide and draw relationships apart.

Relationships are what life is all about!  A healthy marriage is the pinnacle of human relationships. Satan seeks to destroy marriage and pervert it with substitutions that only fester brokenness disguised as rights and victory. His first attempt was in the Garden of Eden, nearly defeating our relationship with God and with Adam and Eve and then with the rest of humanity of one another. God’s plan is to prove Satan wrong, and, our call is to build our matrimony and one another up, not destroy one another.

When a spouse betrays and we have been wronged, we experience feelings of betrayal, and consider retaliation to be justified. God calls us out of retaliation and into reconciliation.  Then we need godly council and help. Get it. Seek a qualified counselor to help you both through this.

When we fail to forgive, we are the ones who suffer the most. Your spouse may betray, but then that betrayal is lived out over and over, it will never stop. They get on with life, and unfairly the victim festers with the wounds. Then, anger, resentment, shame, bitterness, contempt, and defensiveness all synergistically build on top of one another, so every segment within us is held hostage with these emotions. We are chained like a dog on a leash, unable to reach the destination we desire, what Christ has for us.

A healthy Christian marriage puts aside spiteful behaviors, and embraces our spouse in love. What comes out of love is the release of our feelings of hurt that builds a better relationship of mutual respect for the future. 

Do not allow the bitterness to continue so that it festers causing more harm, even corrupting the potential for forgiveness, moving to reconciliation and damaging your whole being. The bitterness must not take hold in your life, or it will block the flow of the Holy Spirit and self-controlling love. Or else, the festering will continue to the point that Christ is crying out to us in the wilderness, yet we do not hear Him.

Our Lord is alerting us to the perils of being unforgiving, just as the call of red alert of impending danger.  If we do not heed the warning, our emotions will run wild, and we will no longer have control or composure, unable to recognize who we are in Christ. We will not be able to listen, solve any problems, or clear up misunderstandings.  Thus, the anger and the uncontrolled emotions will become controlled by Satan.  The red alert has been ignored, and our family has been destroyed! Your relationship(s) have been destroyed!