Marriage and Happiness

Look to God’s precepts for building a great marriage.

The practice of Christianity is a journey of our faith development as we encounter more of Christ through our learning and discoveries from His Word. We can also discover from our discipleship in Him.  We grow in our knowledge and faith but we are not always ready for the deeper truths until we understand the basics and foundations. There are many truths and precepts in God’s Word to be discovered and applied into our lives, marriages, and churches.

Marriage is not about pursuing one’s happiness; rather, it is about how we continue the work of God in your marriage.  Only then the happiness will come.

In a triumphant marriage, what we are doing is simple, the practice of cherishing love and the acceptance of respect so you are both valuing each other.  In this, you will be on the winning side of faith, family life and harmony!

  1. Love – cherish
  2. Respect – value
  3. Guard against lust
  4. Control your pride
  5. Pray together

Remember, love confirms the authenticity of Jesus’ and His followers!

In a godly marriage, we are stewards of the precious love that God has extended to us; it needs to flow from us to other people in our lives, especially a spouse. This is to be our utmost responsibility, and done with care. It is a call to careful, steadfast love, like caring for a precious, priceless object (1 Peter 3: 1-12).

Real love is what sets the tone and standard for the relationship.

This is all framed in the key phrase, be considerate refers to treating a spouse with the utmost care and love. Because, submission is also a response!  Because the husband loves, because the husband cares, because the husband puts his wife’s best interests forward, the wife submits, and he earns her devotion.  It is the husband’s responsibility to set the tone of love and care!  Keep in mind that this was called for in a time and culture that considered women lower than farm animals!  It was taught in a culture where the “alpha” male (i.e. the lead man of the family) ruled in absolute dominance for order, organization, structure, protection, and community.

The mandate to love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) was, and still is to some, an extreme wake-up call that commands the husband to thoroughly exhibit all of the qualities of biblical character in his relationship with his wife.

Do not let yourself become a statistic, imprisoned in a world of stifle and chaos, when God has such a better plan for you. 

We can have confidence in Christ, for He will help us; we need never be afraid of situations or peoples. We are not in this life or our marriage alone; we have Christ and one another.  He gives us all we need to run this race of life and faith successfully.  Do not forget to respect your leaders, receive the Word from them, and remember all of the good.

Jesus is the same yesterday, and today, and tomorrow—forever.

A key word in Scripture, the marriage bed, means the personal, intimate relationship of a man and wife which adultery, prostitution, and now pornography will defile. The word meant a virgin’s bed where no one had sat on until her husband came into her life. The context is that the Church is a called to teach God’s values, not compromise with the world, and to strengthen marriages and families by role modeling, encouragement, and help (1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Ephesians 5:22-33).

Remember, sexual immorality will seek to destroy what God has put together. This is a grievous sin and destroys. Thus, God calls us to guard against lust and whatever else destroys relationships and marriages.  Sexual immorality is extremely dangerous.  When Jesus walked and talked, when the New Testament was written, the Roman and Greek civilization was very loose morally, which led to their fall.  So, what did Jesus focus on to circumvent this culture?  He focused on knowing and modeling authentic love.

The love of money, temptations of gathering wealth, and the desire to be rich has led astray and destroyed countless people over the centuries!  We are called to be content with what He provides and not bend to greed or coveting. The point is that our real and true treasures are imperishable and eternal. Thus, our security is who we are in Christ, not what we have or want of money and/or “things.” How one handles his finances are a real reflection of their spiritual life (Matthew 6:19-34; 19:16-26; Luke 12:15, 21; Philippians 4:10-13; 1 Timothy 3:3; 6:6-19; 1 Peter 1:3-5)!

God leaves us a us promise that He will never leave you.  We have freedom from fear, as our Lord is our partner in life and faith. This was a great comfort that was originally given to a people in distress.  Thus, a good marriage, a contented marriage, a triumphant marriage is centered on how we are trusting in our Lord!  A bad marriage is centered on when we trust in other things, like hurts and fears or hopes and plans.

We are called to love and to continue to do so no matter what the circumstances or oppositions.

  1. Read Psalm 86 slowly and carefully. Then, read it again in prayer, and then read it as a prayer.
    1. Now try this with your spouse and ask each other how is this like us?
    2. Go verse by verse asking how is this like us and how can it be like us?
    3. Where are we in this?
    4. Where do we fail?
    5. Where do we thrive?
    6. Where would we like to be?
    7. What do we need to do?
    8. How can the principles of this Psalm help heal our marriage?
    9. What are we going to do about it?
  1. Each spouse asks the other:
  • What would you like to see happen in my heart?


  • What do you think God would like to see happen in our hearts?


  • What is ‘your’ goal for our marriage?


  • Do you feel it is possible to get there?  What do you think it will take? What do I need to do?


  • How can we be better at our love and respect?


Keep in mind that a good soldier is willing to die for his or her country. Are you willing to live for your spouse and Lord? If so, we can come together and be committed to solve our problems. If not, we will fail our marriage and disappoint our Lord and Savior!

The Lord is my helper. A quote from the Psalms to encourage people not to be afraid, but to put their confidence and trust in the Lord (Deuteronomy 31:6-8; Psalm 56:11; 118:6; Philippians 4:11-12; Hebrews 2:15; 4:16; 11:23, 27).


Yes, you can have a wondrous marriage!



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