Recovering from Hurt

 

Sometimes we do all we can and our marriages still do not improve. To be honest, after over 30 years of doing counseling and decades of research, this is rare. Yet, it happens. Sometimes, there are chemical imbalances in the brain and one can’t control their thoughts and actions well and refuse medical help. Sometimes, people are so damaged they can’t get beyond their hurts. And, in most of these cases, they also refuse to get help and choose to stay in their dysfunction. If they will not get help, and you can’t force them, then you get it for yourself.

What do you need to do to be led by the Word of God?  How will this enable your marriage to be filled with the Spirit of God?

A true marriage is a ‘covenant marriage.’  This means we go beyond the civil contract from the State, and we see our marriage as instituted from God, by God,  because He reconciled us to Himself and call us to be reconcilers to one another as man and wife, a family under and for God’s glory.  This will create the synergy for the foundation of family and a lifelong fruitful relationship.

 What gets in the way of love and valuing being practiced in your home? What can you do to refocus on God’s covenant and care over your feelings, failures or hurts?

 

To grow a wondrous marriage, we have to be willing to learn about real love, and we must understand that Christianity is about growth. 

It starts with the profession of faith and conversion from our old selves into the new with Christ; this faith keeps building into maturity. The process of Sanctification comes into play here, especially in the midst of our relationships.  At the same time

Sanctification means being made one with Jesus.  Sanctification is not something Jesus puts in you; it is He, Himself, in us (2 Corinthians 1:39). The understanding of Sanctification will allow you to lead your heart, to be discerning of yourself, and realize that no mere person can fulfill you!  No ideal guy or gal will make you complete or fill a hole that only Christ can fill!  No friend can take the place of God.

To completely change the black, dirty oil of our minds with the new, golden anointing oil of His love, we have to surrender ourselves to Christ.

 What will it take or what will you do to get a grasp on God’s amazing fullness of grace and how Christ loves us?

Be a builder, not a taker. Keep spending time in prayer and commit to pray for your spouse when you first wake up, when you go to bed and throughout the day!  Now also see if you can pray with your spouse, too–at least 5 minutes a day to start.  If they are not open to it, do not push it, just pray for it.

Remember this is not a book of my ideas; this is a book directing you to and reflecting for you God’s precepts on building a great marriage.  What I am doing is reading the Bible, doing some real research and extracting the precepts, practicing them and laying them out to you. I know the concepts are easy, the practice is tough and yet, it is doable even in harsh circumstances.

There is nothing more important to a man than to feel respected. There is nothing more important to a woman than to feel cherished!

The key to building a healthy marriage is this:  Love is action, and it is reciprocal! 

Then God calls the children, to participate in the love of a home by obeying their parents and respecting them, for your obedience is pleasing to our Lord.

This will create a more content home that glorifies the Lord. When we do not do this, we sink into dysfunction and hurt and then destruction. This will also help you live well and right and not be discouraged or lose hope.

What can you do to be better imitators of Christ? How would that improve your marriage? How is real Love reciprocal? How can you practice that?

 

Keep spending time in prayer and commit to pray for your spouse when you first wake up, when you go to bed and throughout the day!  Now, also see if you can pray with your spouse, too–at least 5 minutes a day to start. If they are not open to it, do not push it, just pray for it.

 

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