How does your marriage compare to God’s call? PII

Eph 4 26

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27

This is a reminder of our position in Christ, a result of our redemption that should be exhibited in our new life in Christ.  In Christ, our old nature has died and now we are clothed in His new nature and life.  We also become more Christ-like in character and attitude as we grow and mature in Him. Therefore, we can understand God’s truths and apply them to our lives without excuse. In so doing, our marriages will become more triumphant not only to one another and our families, then also to the glory of our Lord (Rom. 6:1-14; 8:29; 1 Cor. 15:49; Gal. 2:20-21; Eph. 1:3; Phil. 3:10-20; 2:1-101 John 3:2).

Let’s look at this keyword, Anger.  It centers around all that most people do that can come out bad, a word steeped in emotion and unhinged response. Whereas a Christian, we have a higher calling with it. The emotion in of itself is not bad, as it can be used for good motivations too. Even Jesus got rightly angry in Matthew 24. Our call, in life and here marriage, is do not hold on to anger, or it will fester and become unjust. Then all is will do is bring us unpleasantness and bitterness.  When this happens, we must seek to break the bonds that destroy others and us. Our beliefs must affect our behaviors; our language must affect and reflect our faith.  If not, our faith and thinking are skewed or even absent (Psalm 4:4; Isa. 63:10; Hos. 7:6; Eph. 4:31; James 1:19-20; 3:9-10).

What counters anger is the Fruit of the Spirit, in this case in this passage, being kind and compassionate or having tender mercies.  This is a Fruit produces a readiness to respond with righteousness and thoughtful consideration beyond how people treat us or how they may or may not deserve it (Matt. 11:29-30; Rom. 2:1-4; 12:9-21; 2 Cor. 6:6; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:12-14; 1 Tim. 3:4; 1 John 3:16-23).

So, when we are caring, we hold back the emotion and the escalation of it. Our empathy of another person outside of basic selfish nature will be the brakes that slow down anger.

This will come about when we see our spouse in the light of who they are in Christ, not who they are in our irritation.

It is to recognize, emotionally identify with, and interact with those who are hurting, and helping them by gathering with others with the abilities and resources to help them (Job 29:13; Isa. 40:11; Matt. 9:36; 14:14; Mark 1:41; Luke 6:36; 10:25-37; 19:4; Rom. 12:1-2; James 5:11; 1 Peter 3:8). But how can I do this? This passage gives us the clue, know that God forgave you.  We are to extend the forgiveness to others, to our spouse, because Christ had forgiven us. (John 6:37, 44, 65;13:1; 15:16; Rom. 5:1-8; Eph. 1:4-5; Phil. 1:6; Col. 1:21-22; 2:10; 3:1-14; 1 John 4:9-11)!

How to I apply this passage?

Realize that God loves you and accepts you more powerfully, passionately, purposefully, and deeply than you could ever fathom!

You are secure.  God “guarantees” you with a clear, powerful, loving, impacting, and lasting relationship with Him.  When you are in Christ, God is pleased with you!  Now see your spouse in this light of how God sees them. You have no need to fear; you are both people of deep value and worth before our Lord!  You are both forgiven because of Christ and His righteousness that covers you, not because of your deeds or performance.  You are unique and complete in Him; and because of this, you are each a special person whom God loves and will use to further impact His kingdom.   He does this for all of who are His.

How do we do this in a life of hardship, setbacks, busyness, and uncertainty?

Simply by allowing the Word–Christ’s presence–to dwell in us, and learn His instruction, so the peace of Christ will rule in our hearts and minds and translate into our actions.

It is all about our spiritual growth impacting us so it impacts those around us positively and in love.  Get in His Word more and commune with Him by prayer. And a good fellowship is also crucial. The key is to know that Christ is sufficient, so we can trust in Him–trust in Him alone (Read all of Eph. 4)!

Take an inventory of your life, thinking, behaviors, then go through All of Ephesians 4, look at the key words, and ask:

  • What do I need to put off?
  • What do I need to put on?
  • How do I do that?
  • How do I fail in this area?
  • How can I do this better?

 

What is Faithfulness in Marriage? PI

Faithfulness in MarriageFaithfulness is a Fruit of the Spirit! 

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.”  1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Psalm 119: 89-90; Matthew 17:19; 25:21; Rom. 1:17; 5:1-2; 1 Cor. 12:9; Hebrews 11:1; 1 Thess. 5:24

Faithfulness is the “gluing” fruit that will preserve our faith and marriage. It is a prime character of the Holy Spirit flowing into and then out of us. It identifies God’s love and will so we can be dependable and trusting to God, in our marriage and one another in others. It is also the one fruit that we give back to God, whereas the others are flowing from the Holy Spirit working in us!

Faithfulness is authenticity, the power and motivation for Christian marriage and living.

Why and how? Because God is trustworthy with us we can be faith-worthy in Him and in our home! If not then, doubt, cynicism and distrust will flow. We will lose our trust and hope that God is in control! When we do this we will lose or miss out on God coming through with His promises and a working marriage that is triumphant.

Faithfulness is very difficult to have or hold on too especially applying it to our marriage in today’s society and extremely rare in our other relationships. We tend to lose our patience with God, thinking He is just a blessing machine. In addition, when we do not get what we envision for our marriage we leave because of our uncertainty and pessimism.

Yet, Faithfulness is the fruit that we give to God so He can sanctify, change us inside and out and be a change agent of example for our family!

It is the ability to take what Christ has done in us and be a blessing into our family and then to others with loyalty and trust. Faithfulness goes against modern psychology and societies thinking, as it requires us to move beyond ourselves, whereas psychology tells us to be selfish putting the “me” first, rearranging the world to our needs, which creates self-destruction and a broken marriage.

Faithfulness is more than just being faithful in our sexuality! We have to keep the goal of faithfulness in our minds always, as it will allow God to work deeper and us to respond to His call and our spouse!

God has bigger things at stake that He wants you for, much more than the petty complaints we give or things we ask of Him!

When we learn and apply the fruit and attitude of Faithfulness, then Christ is glorified; moreover, quality relationships are built and are kept! This happens best when we realize that Christ paid our debt in full! Therefore we can as Colossians 1:9-14 tells us, live a life worthy or as other translations state, walk worthy of the Lord. This means live in the manner of what we know and believe— and do it consistently.

We do this when we are faithful in pursuing God and His righteousness, and believing His precepts, so He is more and we are less in our will. This is our “walk with God,” meaning living out the daily Christian life thinking as He has called, behaving as we believe, and thus doing in response to His Work in and for us. It is also being empowered by the Holy Spirit. It is never the walk in our own will and strength; such a thing is pride and disobedience to our loving Lord.

So if you want a great tool to change and be an example of change, kept blameless  or just improve our marriage, the Fruit of the Spirit, Faithfulness will be it!

As we behave as the One we represent, as the name Christian means to be like Christ in His character. Refers to being an “appropriate” or acceptable offering so we “deserve” our reward—but we do not earn it (Lev. 26:3; Ezek. 36:27; Mark 10:29-31; John 3:30; Gal. 2:20-21; 5:16; Eph. 4:1; 5:1; Phil. 3:10-14).

Then we can be Fully Pleasing Him, to be a friend of God with gratitude; seeking Him first is to glorify Him. (Deut. 10:17-19; 2 Chron. 20:7; Psalm 69:30-31; Matt. 5:16; 6:33; mark 12:29-30; 1 Thess. 2:4).

Remember; God does not want our complaints, thus He will not give us an answer for them, rather He wants our obedience, so He can use us more and better!

Remember that the heart of any healthy relationship is love and respect!

marriageDo you have  a heart for love and respect to your spouse? If not why not? 

A married couple is on the same team; you are not each other’s enemy!  So, be willing to see your spouse as your teammate, and not your rival.  In that way, you can avoid seeing the other as the problem, and focus on the issue and the solution!

What do you need to do to cement and practice this paramount point to build a healthy marriage, that the heart of any healthy relationship is love and respect?

Remember that the heart of any healthy relationship is love and respect!  If you do not get this, you will not get marriage!

Your marriage is all about grace, that we receive that we must also distill and pass on. How will you do this?

Sometimes we force marriage to do something it was not designed to do, and we turn this most intimate and important relationship into a place of loneliness, worry, hurt and strife. We take what was to be good and turn it into a warzone void of the practice of love, mercy, and our growth in maturity, but rather hone our weapons of pride, arrogance, condescension, and contempt, or just withdraw, staying angry and bitter.  We model these practices for our children and expect them to have better lives and marriages when all we’ve really taught them is how not to do it.

Unanchored stress and disappointments, along with a detachment from looking to God, will prevent us from seeing His signposts of precepts.

We cannot just expect God to get us through without any effort on our part. To grow, we have to struggle and work it out.  It is the struggle that helps us; it is what builds us and forms us.  Without it, there is no growth or real impacting faith, honest character, genuine patience, or maturity—and thus, unhealthy relationships.

Don’t play these games.  Your marriage and relationships are too precious and valuable to destroy them with our whims or hurts.  Yet, Christians can be some of the most critical and arrogant people on earth!  As Christians, we need to be an example for Him wherever we are, set ourselves above pettiness, and let God remove our pride!

Upgrade your mindsets to goodness!

love and respect

Respect, love and respect, solutions, arrogant, express your love, spouse, Always, fruit of the Spirit, goodness, healthy marriage,

Do we allow Christ’s love to motivate and control us, or do we go it alone?  If we really, truly believe in Him with sincere trust and obedience, then, it will produce a result.  We must allow that result of fruit (Galatians 5:22-25) be in us.

The ups and downs of marriage may get us down, and the arguments, tension, disagreements, gossip, treachery, betrayal, financial disasters, stress, and false accusations may take its toll on us.  When life seems to rise up and wage war against us, our character can grow stronger and our relationships can improve.  We can become even stronger and more loving—even more content.  The choice is ours!

  • To effectively listen, we need to give our spouse our full attention. We must be willing to build the skills of empathetic and active listening. To do this, we first need to concentrate on quieting our own thoughts and concerns so we can hear theirs.  We all have a natural, internal commentary going; try to shut it off until afterwards.  This will help you engage the person and remember what he or she is saying.

Remember that LISTENING IS ESSENTIAL!  Good friend-makers are good listeners. Be the person who listens (John 8:47;James 1:19-25)! 

Unanchored stress and disappointments, along with a detachment from looking to God, will prevent us from seeing His signposts of precepts.  We cannot just expect God to get us through without any effort on our part. To grow, we have to struggle and work it out.  It is the struggle that helps us; it is what builds us and forms us.  Without it, there is no growth or real impacting faith, honest character, genuine patience, or maturity—and thus, unhealthy relationships.

Don’t play these games.  Your marriage and relationships are too precious and valuable to destroy them with our whims or hurts.  Yet, Christians can be some of the most critical and arrogant people on earth!  As Christians, we need to be an example for Him wherever we are, set ourselves above pettiness, and let God remove our pride!

A married couple is on the same team; you are not each other’s enemy!  So, be willing to see your spouse as your teammate, and not your rival.  In that way, you can avoid seeing the other as the problem, and focus on the issue and the solution!

What do you need to do to cement and practice this paramount point to build a healthy marriage, that the heart of any healthy relationship is love and respect?